18th January

Today would have been the fourth birthday of our little one who is already at home in Jesus's arms.  And today I have been struck by God's blessing yet again.  For each of my children, Ruth, Benjamin and the new one one the way, I have been pregnant on our first baby's birthday.  With Ruth, I didn't even know that I was pregnant, with Benjamin I felt fit to burst and with this one we have just had the 20 week scan showing a very feisty baby :)

I am struck by God's timing in this.  I am also struck by the faithfulness of God in keeping His promises to me.  About 6 weeks after I lost our baby, I was having a beautiful time with God, and He led me to this scripture:
Isaiah 44 v 3-5

3 For I will pour water on the thirsty land, 
   and streams on the dry ground; 
I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, 
   and my blessing on your descendants. 
4 They will spring up like grass in a meadow, 
   like poplar trees by flowing streams. 
5 Some will say, ‘I belong to the LORD’; 
   others will call themselves by the name of Jacob; 
still others will write on their hand, ‘The LORD’s,’ 
   and will take the name Israel

I understood God's promise to me to be that I would have three children.  I didn't know when that would be, how long I would have to wait until I had three children, but I knew deep down that this was what God had promised me.  And now I sit here, carrying my third (fourth) baby under my heart and I see the rest of the passage, the parts about the children springing up like grass in a meadow, like poplar trees by flowing streams.  That happens quickly, does it not?  And here I am having three children in 3.5 years.

I look forward with joyful anticipation to watch God fulfil the rest of the promise in this verse, that God will pour out his Spirit on my offspring.  How I long for each of them to enter into an exciting, meaningful, personal relationship with their Heavenly Father and watch His hand upon their lives.  It is my prayer that this will happen early on, there is so much to receive from Him!

I will mark our first baby's birthday as I do every year, with a bunch of yellow flowers in my favourite vase in the kitchen, and one day, I will share with Ruth, Benjamin and the baby inside why I put yellow flowers in the kitchen on January 18th, and the promises of God that He has shared with me.