One of the big things I am really adjusting to with having two children is the sheer lack of time that I have to plan things to make the best use of my time. Things have got a bit easier as time has progressed, the days are slowly falling into their own rythmn and routine and I am doing less of the lurching from fire to fire than I have been doing.

I am a planner by nature, I love my lists and I love knowing what I am going to do and when. It gives me a sense of accomplishment to tick things off my list, whether written or mental. It makes me feel productive when I can say to Hubby at the end of a day 'I have done this, this this and even this'. Some people might call it a control streak... But with two lovelies, it is almost impossible to write the list, let alone crack on with it. However, I am learning to let go, to enjoy the snuggles of my little man when he pushes his warm little cheek against mine to go to sleep, to play endless games of catch with a dilapidated bouncy ball with Ruth in the garden, and to rest when the sleeps of the two coincide.

I do have an entire afternoon almost to myself tomorrow. Ruth's granny is taking her back to hers for the afternoon, and bringing her back ready for bed. It will be the first time I have been in my house between 4.30pm and 6pm without Ruth and will no doubt feel very strange. It will give me some space to rest, to think, to get done some little jobs which are more difficult to do when I have company! Having said that, from the moment my mother-in-law offered and I accepted, I have missed Ruth and she's not even gone yet!

Perhaps I shall spend this time planning how I want to use tomorrow, a golden nugget of time to myself. Don't get me wrong, I love this motherhood thing, I adore my kids, but there is more to me and my brain than feeds, nappies and the Hungry Caterpillar!