How can I stop him hurting?

Hubby worked late last night, got home at midnight, and as we climbed into bed about half-past, I sensed he wasn't happy. I asked what was wrong, and he didn't want to tell me. Realising that he was carrying something heavy, I wanted to lighten his burden, so asked him to share. He told me that his colleague's wife was pregnant. This is hard enough on its own for us, it being the 9th pregnancy that we have known about since we lost our baby 7 months ago, but there are other factors which on the one hand show God's grace and providence, but for us, selfishly causes more pain. Both of the couple are in their middle thirties, it is a second marriage for both of them, and they have been married for 9 months, they already have 4 children between them. But the biggest thing is that the husband had a vasectomey reversal over the summer which carried a slim chance of working, and here they are 3 months into trying and they fall pregnant. But I could sit here and rationalise why other people shouldn't be pregnant and we should be, but that is a judgemental thing to do, not to mention selfish and destructive.

So last night, after Hubby tells me, he suggests that we pray together. And he prayed so beautifully, committing this latest pregnancy to God, praying for all our pregnant friends, and laying down our family plans to God, asking that we can walk in his will. All of this with tears pouring down his face. Tears of pain, anguish, frustration, anger, but somehow he led us both in God-focused prayer, genuinely wanting us to walk the path God has for us.

But how can I stop him hurting? How can I take his pain away? He no longer wants to share in the symptom spotting each month, he either wants a yes or a no once a month. He doesn't want to get his hopes up to have them dashed time and again, it just hurts too much.

When you love someone, and you go through something like this together, the pain is doubled. You feel the pain for yourself, and then you feel it all over again because your mate is hurting and there is nothing you can do to fix it. I pray daily that God would give him peace, that he would protect his heart from hurt, that God would show his love to him in such an amazing and tangible way.

But each time we hear of a new pregnancy (seems like every other week), each time AF shows up, and we cry tears, it drives us to our knees at the foot of the cross. We know that we cannot handle this alone, and yet, there is a peace when we have prayed. The pain still lingers, but wrongful attitudes are being corrected, and our marriage is strengthened. Hubby may not know it or feel it, but he is emerging as a strong spiritual leader for our family, and that in itself is a blessing.