Exactly how I feel....

"Sitting at my office desk, feeling my life-blood draining out of me day after day, I used to wistfully dream about living in the 1800s. Back when women were expected to be at home, not looked down upon for making that choice. What joy to spend my days in pursuit of taking care of those I loved! To not have to spend three hours a day fighting traffic! To not have to come home dead-tired and try to come up with a nutritious dinner to serve my husband so we wouldn't go out for fast food once again. (Often, it was:"What will it be, Honey...cold cereal or spaghetti?") To not always be so tired that we ended up planted on the couch in front of the television for three hours every night (talk about life-blood draining!) To not have to spend all weekend cleaning and grocery shopping because that was the only time I had energy to do it. To not actually hope that I would get sick so that I could have a day at home. To not skip church more often than not because it took half the weekend and I was so protective of and selfish with the little bit of time I did have to spend with my husband. To not dread my weekdays like the specter of death." To read the entire post, click here.

Ok, so the personal details re take-away foods and shopping at weekends (okay, evenings) and skipping church may not be entirely accurate for my life, but having read this on a blog day, I felt like shouting 'yes! That is how I feel!!!!' I want to be at home in body as well as in mind and spirit.

Another quotation from the same site, which was a quotation from someone else said this:
"There are plenty of people that can do all that extra work, but there isn't anyone else that can be the wife, mother and keeper of your home. No one else will do. You are it." 'All that extra work' being the paid employment that I carry out.

Part of my asks why I am still at work. And I know the answer really. I am here because my husband wishes me to work to bring in the wonga. But the part that asks why I am still at work is the part that can't see the point to ooodles of wonga in a bank account, waiting to be spent on toys. Surely me being the wife at home that I want to be is more important than toys? Than new cars? I think so.... But I promised to obey my husband, and it is out of that vow that I am sitting at my desk instead of being at home. And as an aside, this may not be my desk much longer. Someone else wants it. But the desk I am to move to is already occupied with no inclination to move elsewhere. But that is another story.