Wasn't sure whether to post this...

But Hubs and I have had a conversation or two about me working part -time, and whenever we do, he gets all down about the fact that he still has to go to work, although he says he is joking. He feels, and he admits that it is irrational, that I will be having 2 days holiday every week while he is working, even though he knows I am going to be busy doing stuff to make him happy.

I try to be gracious about this, because I know how hard it can be when you have to go off in the cold and the dark to go to work while someone else stays home. BUT I am struggling. Firstly because he has had every Friday afternoon off since he started work, and only occasionally uses it to do stuff that benefits the home and our marriage. So that is like a half day holiday for him every week. Yes, I have the extra hour in the morning after he leaves for work before I leave, but I am usually doing house stuff then. And I only get that extra hour if I don't have to take him to work. If I am taking him to work, I am leaving the house with him, and getting back with him, and he still gets Friday afternoons off.

I am also struggling because it seems to me (and thus is subjective and may not be 100% accurate as to what is actually happening) that Hubs is already acting like I work part-time and thus leaving ALL household stuff to me. When I asked him about this, he replied quite indignantly that he 'helped cook dinner last night AND took the compost out'. I decided that it would be churlish to point out all the homey things I had done this week. And it is so hard when he asks 'well, what more do you want me to be doing?' because there is so much that just gets done automatically and is more involved than pigeonholing it into one task. Cooking dinner, for example, is a result of planning, shopping and preparing. Ironing, for example is a result of planning, washing, drying 4 loads of laundry. So I just say 'nothing' and hope that he notices what needs to be done, rather than have me explain everything.

I have been totally exhausted these last couple of nights (probably a hangover from the 2am bedtime Sunday morning!) and have been snoozing on the sofa in the evenings and then dragging myself to bed. That is what comes of doing two jobs. I cannot wait until I go part-time. Then perhaps I won't feel so tired all the time.